Many women of color know what it means to be called strong before being asked how they are doing.
Strength is often spoken as a compliment. And sometimes it is. Resilience, endurance, wisdom, and perseverance are qualities many leaders carry with deep pride. But there is another side to strength that is discussed less often, the quiet expectation that strong people will continue carrying what others cannot.
Over time, strength can become less of a choice and more of an assignment.
Many women of color learn early how to remain composed in difficult environments. To adapt. To lead. To care for others. To keep moving even while carrying grief, disappointment, exhaustion, or uncertainty. In leadership spaces, this can become even more pronounced. Competence and composure are often expected at all times, even in environments that offer little room for vulnerability or restoration.
Research surrounding the “Strong Black Woman” schema has explored how these expectations shape emotional wellbeing, leadership experiences, and mental health outcomes for Black women. Studies suggest that chronic emotional suppression, overperformance, and self-silencing can contribute to burnout, stress, anxiety, and isolation over time.
What makes this especially complex is that strength is often tied to survival, community, and legacy. Many women learned strength from mothers, grandmothers, mentors, and faith traditions that carried families and communities through extraordinary hardship. Strength became protection. Stability. Responsibility.
But even necessary strength can become heavy when leaders feel they are never allowed to set it down.
There is a particular exhaustion that comes from always being perceived as capable enough to carry more. More responsibility. More emotional labor. More mentorship. More professionalism. More patience. More composure.
And often, little space to simply be human.
The emotional labor carried by women of color in leadership is rarely discussed fully. Yet many are expected to educate, support, mediate, mentor, advocate, and perform at exceptionally high levels while navigating systems that may still question their legitimacy or leadership.
There is nothing weak about acknowledging the weight of this reality.
In fact, one of the most important leadership practices may be learning that strength and softness can coexist. Competence and vulnerability can coexist. Faith and fatigue can coexist.
Leadership should not require the abandonment of self.
As I continue reflecting on leadership, I have become increasingly aware that many women of color are not simply seeking opportunity. They are seeking spaces where they can lead without carrying the constant pressure of proving, protecting, or enduring alone.
That matters.
Because sustainable leadership is not built solely on resilience. It is also built on restoration, honesty, support, and community.
Sometimes strength looks like continuing.
And sometimes strength looks like allowing yourself to be cared for, too.
